Bin Men and Tyre Pressures

What have bin men and tyre pressures got in common? Well, not much really except that they happened on the same day.

I thought I'd escaped that Monday morning feeling when I retired. Not so, because the bin men arrive each Monday morning and I am, for my sins (which must have been grievous), first on the rota for "the treatment".  I have to be up and alert each Monday at 8am sharp to monitor whatever nefarious deeds they commit in the name of recycling. I should really hestitate to comment on their iniquity for fear of even more drastic consequences but let's just say I am almost on first name terms with the Head Recycler and I have his mobile number.

Today was "grey" day, a relatively easy surveillance because it involves only one grey bin. Easy, you may think and yet they still manage to raise my blood pressure. As a self-confessed grumpy old man (I could have written the BBC series) it is not difficult to incite my ire and I really should resist biting the bullet, or rather the bin. Ze Instruktions are to have the bins ready for collection by 8am. Bin bags left on the pavement will NOT be collected. Why then, this morning, did they arrive at 07.50? Was it to catch out unwary late sleepers? And why, did the bin man reach inside my bin and lift out the black bin bag? leaving in the bin, odd bits of detritus that I'd picked up outside and which the wind always seems to dump on my patch of lawn. Now, I keep a very tidy bin and everything of my own is always placed in a bag before being binned but you'd think that he'd have given a cursory glance inside, given that he'd gone to the effort of actually lifting the lid. Today's bin men are delicate creatures, not the hearty bin men of old who effortlessly swung metal bins on their back, carried them some considerable distance and then hoisted them up with a fluid ease to empty the bin into the lorry. They even brought the bin back into the garden and placed it cheerfully back from whence it came. Todays timid creatures can only wheel, not lift, and then only wheel if the nasty bin isn't too heavy. Some seem to lack numeracy as my bin has been known to roam despite the house number on it being visible to overhead aircraft. So much for the sins of "grey" day. Next week is "green" day, the very thought of which causes a need for a strong cup of tea. I have a green bin, a green box and either a white sack or a blue bag, depending on what the bin man deigned to leave me the last time. There are 3 seperate collections which means a constant state of red alert from 8am until noon(ish). One would think that "green" operatives, given the nature of their jobs, would be more civic minded and eager to please - nope! I have to be ready to spring out of my door with alacrity if I sense that the bin, box or sack/bag is destined to land outside my territorial boundarys. I need several cups of tea on a green Monday...

And so to tyre pressures. At this point I have to admit that I have never actually checked the tyre pressures on my current car, leaving it to my trusty local garage man to do this on each service. I was prompted into guilt by my pal, the Blessed Ian (he who helped with the patio), who has the same make of car. He announced that after checking his tyres he was amazed at the difference it made in handling and fuel economy. Now I know all this, but things got lax when I bought this car because it doesn't have a cigarette lighter socket where I can plug in my home car tyre inflator thingy. It's a poor excuse but it's the only one I have, mea maxima culpa. Anyway, yet again, I digress. Bear in mind that it is some time since I approached a free air pump at a garage. Shock number one - air is no longer free. Fortunately, as car parking has not generally been free for quite a while, I have a small cache of coinage in the car ashtray (why do they sell a car with an ashtray but no cigarette lighter? Do they assume that if we can afford a packet of fags then we can probably afford a lighter?) Shock number 2 -  a perusal of the Skoda User Manual told me that the correct tyre pressures were to be found on the inside of the fuel filler cap. Now, as I'd combined the search for fuel and purchaseable air with a visit to the supermarket, it was dark by the time I emerged from Mr Tescos laden, of course by many more items than the 3 I had intended to buy. Fortuitously, on my car key ring, I have a small torch, courtesy of a 2009 quality Christmas cracker else the quest for air would have ended there and then. Even when illuminated, the figures meant nothing to me. Skoda have no truck with lbs per square inch, being a foreign make built outwith the sunny bounds of the late British Empire. I was faced with 220/2.20 which meant absolutely nothing to me and that was just for the front tyres. Full of trepidation, clutching my 20p piece I noted that you got precisely 5 minutes air for it - even the airlines don't charge that much. I hope the government doesn't get any ideas or pensioners won't live to get much of their taxes back.  Shock number 3 - it's all automatic. Gone are the days where you pressed a little lever and watched the dial. Now you just set the pressure, plug in the hose and a little beeper beeps as it automatically cuts off at the correct level. At least at the petrol pumps you still have to press something to get the desired amount of fuel. The only thing that can go wrong is picking up the wrong fuel hose. But that's another story......