Rhubarb, Cuneiform and Blueteeth

Still fatigued after the trek to the big city yesterday I had to make another route march today, this time to Lytham. This was not the jolly, backslapping banter-full (non-sexist) sort of march but rather the "creeping like a snail" type. Kojak was going to the dentist.

On my last visit, a short while ago I had a bit of minor infilling done. This was the dental equivalent of a spot of repointing on a brick wall. Unfortuately the sand to mortar ratio must have been wrong because the thing came out during breakfast. My snap crackle & pop became snap crackle & crunch. I was a tad miffed at this because I hate going to the dentist even for an innocuous inspection. I made a peevish telephone call to the hated dental surgery and was a mite taken aback when the receptionist said "There's a cancellation, can you be here for 2pm?" Now I was also running a bit short of milk and I had to pass the friendly farmer's dairy parlour so at least I could give my green credentials a boost by combining the two. The country road also meanders past the local recycling depot and I had a broken bulb to recycle.  It was one of those energy saving ones with a low carbon footprint but strangely a high mercury one which will poison the entire world if you slip it into the kitchen bin. Full of righteous pride, bursting with planet-saving fervour and clutching the deadly article at arms length I pulled up at the recycling centre only to find it cordoned off. A very helpful recycling person (clearly NOT one of the Oberbinfuhrer's lackeys) apologised, telling me that the site was closed for refurbishment and I should harbour the lightbulb until it reopened in 2 weeks time. Two things crossed my mind immediately. What if the noxious mercurial fumes seeped out into Chez Kojak and I should wake up one morning to find that my teeth had fallen out and if so, was it worthwhile proceeding onwards to the dentists? As I continued with my journey I also mused on what a refurbished rubbish dump would look like. A comfy armchair or two perhaps while your recycling requirements were discussed? A loyalty card system?

The Lytham Windmill still minus 2 of it's sails after last autumn's gales

Now the worthy residents of Lytham apparently do not much care for the automobile even though they likely own two or three of them. Finding a parking spot anywhere near the centre is fraught with uncertainty so I always build in sufficient time for a circuit or two of the High St. It follows therefore that the availability of a parking place is in inverse ratio to the amount of time in hand. Arrive in plenty of time and you can guarantee a vacant spot right next to the surgery. If you are running late you can resign yourself to a frenzied motorised scrabble up and down the Lytham lanes culminating in a fast trot to the dental establishment because Time and NHS dentists wait for no man! And so it was that I had 45 minutes to kill. I have previously mentioned my loathing of the dentist's chair so the idea of 45 minutes in the waiting room did not appeal. I instead embarked on a stroll along the sea front, it being a clear day. The view was indeed pleasant but the wind was anything but. Straight from the frozen wastes of Siberia it leapt over the Pennines, hurtled over Southport and the Ribble estuary mud and chilled me to the bone. I recalled a friend from my days in Grimsby who called it a "lazy" wind because it would rather go through you than around you. I had as usual left my camera at home but flushed with success at my Bluetooth experiment I thought I'd risk a photo or two on my mobile phone. 

I also noted that the marks left by bird's feet in the mud looked strangely like the cuneiform writing which I remember from my early childhood. On my previous mobile photographic attempt I conveniently blamed the lack of clarity on the presence of dense, freezing fog. Today's crystal clear environment exposed the 3 mega pixie lens for what it was - duff. I cannot really whinge too much as I have always proclaimed loudly that I have a camera and therefore do not need a mobile phone laden with musak, mpeg, clothes peg etc.

The biting wind was begining to seep into my bones and there was an increasing chance of my acquiring blue teeth in addition to Bluetooth so I reluctantly headed towards the doubtful comfort of the dental waiting room. On my way there I passed a greengrocers shop, one of the few still hanging on in the face of supermarket competition. It's no coincidence that there was no large supermarket in the vicinity. My own small town has not fared so well. The advent of a large supermarket in the centre saw the high street decline from 3 butchers shops to none and the same number of greengrocers to one. What particularly attracted my attention was some bright red rhubarb. This was so fresh it almost jumped out of the box. It was, so the lady assistant proudly told me, "straight from the rhubarb triangle of Yorkshire" and it looked so healthy I believe it could have walked all the way. I made a mental note to retrace my tracks post-dentist and procure some. Forty minutes later I did precisely that. My attention strayed to some equally healthy Bramley apples and Blueberries.  So tonight, Kojak's kitchen is full of Apple & Blueberry Crumble and rhubarb, rhubarb, lots of rhubarb.