Meat and No Veg, Supermarket Sweep, Itchy Monday and a Close shave

Following the initial success with the new breadmaker I decided to introduce my tried, tested and enjoyed, low fat, low salt wholemeal loaf to the new machine. I had to do some mathematics as the new model makes a larger loaf and the baking  programme is slightly different. The result was very palatable but I felt some further tweaking would improve matters. I approached this with some caution  as I remember all too clearly scraping overflowing dough mix off the innards of the previous model after some over-adventurous quantity adjustment. A softly softly approach was implemented and whilst it did not quite catchee monkee it was nevertheless a clear step towards ensnaring the simian. On Sunday I decided to use some more of the excellent Garden Centre beef to make a steak pie. Thinking that I would avoid a last minute rush for the evening meal I prepared the meat, put it into the oven and went to prepare the veg. A tad prematurely as I discovered to my horror that there was no veg. I was sure I had purchased some on the previous Friday. I even remember writing down what I fancied. I blame the incident, not on a senior moment, but on the unfortunate hop, step & stumble caused by the doorway kerfuffle. Now I am seldom given to panic but the time was 3.45pm and Sunday closing was at 4pm.  Moving much more quickly than is recommended for a gentleman of a certain age I did the local equivalent of the commercial channel show "Supermarket Sweep" and made the check-out, breathless with seconds to spare. I did require a calming cup of tea on my return home. Steak pie was on the menu. Not as good as mother used to make but appealing enough.

Flushed with success and deserving of a treat I brought the Kenwood into play. I don't usually blow my own cream horn but I do pride myself on turning out a decent cake. Until problems with my wrists made it uncomfortable I would have done everything by hand but the Kenwood is much better than the previous rather haphazard results with the old food processor where a nanosecond too long could result in a chocolate pancake. Mindful that fruit is good for you and that Vitamin C is essential for healthy bones and teeth I thoughtfully added the juice and zest of an orange to make a tasty yet healthy cake - that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! 

Monday morning dawned. It felt like the middle of the night and in fact it was almost. It was bin day and worse than that, recycling bin day. Once again I had to arise from the sprung edge divan with 4 drawers to do battle with the evil henchmen of the Oberbinfuhrer. Recycling day means a 3 fold attack by the binherren. Now I'm sure that there is a reason behind the change from 2 seperate collections to 3 but  I cannot see how this can be cheaper and more efficient. What it means to us poor targeted citizens and to Chez Kojak in particular is a state of red alert from 07.30 onwards. The green bin and paper/cardboard sack collections pased without incident but the green box, the sneaky green box binherren who have always been my nemesis were later than usual. My anxiety was heightened more than was normal as I had a physio appointment and the time for departure was nigh. My countenance heavy with impending defeat I had no choice but to leave Kojak Villa unguarded. During the physio session Lynn, the physio noticed a sizeable rash on my hand. This was not due to my nervous bin-related state but a reoccurrence of the allergic reaction caused by the wrist brace she had kindly provided some weeks back. I thought I had avoided this by carefully wrapping a bandage around my hand but this had clearly not been a lasting solution, moreover it had begun to itch and the skin was flaking quite badly. I've never had an allergy before unless you count motorway middle lane hoggers, persons stopping without warning in supermarket doorways, people who leave shopping trolleys all over the supermarket car park, bin men, bin men and also bin men. However, the wrist brace has had to be binned and I also can't wear latex at weekends behind closed curtains... not that I ever did of course... Lynn also kindly looked up the results of the blood test I'd had a few weeks before. To my relief and delight my cholesterol count had halved and was now a very healthy 3. I have to admit that this is probably largely due to the statins prescribed by my Health Centre to all old gits but nonetheless  I felt entitled to a celebratory slice of chocolate cake on my return home.  Rounding the corner into my little court I saw that the green box binherren had indeed seized their chance and called while Chez Kojak was unguarded. To my amazement the box had been neatly returned to where I had left it. Have I tamed them at last? Time will tell.
Today was quite a busy day, in retirement terms. To loosely plagiarise Jane Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a gentleman of a certain age can be at home all day and no-one will telephone or call at the house but the moment he is in the shower, or has both hands buried deep in a washing up bowl either or both aforesaid interruptions will occur. And so it was today. Preparing to venture out to retrieve a parcel from the sorting office, the postman having also called while I was at physio the day before, I was performing my ablutions when the window cleaner arrived hours earlier than usual. Fortunately I always keep the bathroom blinds drawn to preserve my modesty and prevent trauma to passing window cleaners. Now my neighbour was also out and we have an agreement that we pay for each others windows when one of us is missing. After a hurried scramble I managed to catch him, slightly damp (me, not him) before he exited the area. Retrieving my parcel from the sorting office I called in at Butlins, the local Open Prison for some fruit & veg and then went on to my friendly farmer for milk. Returning from there I spotted an empty Barber's Shop and also an empty parking space so I made an impromptu call for my Spring haircut, or trim & polish as it is commonly known. Due to my follicley challenged appearance I get a very favourable rate which is even cheaper than the pensioners discount. Having said that, it is only a few minutes work with the clippers and I emerged, smart but definitely Yul Brynnerish and conscious of a distinct draught around the collar. Fortunately that was the only close shave of the day.


The nasty rash on my hand  has required frequent applications of the ubiquitous E45 cream. I may have overdone it last night as I slipped out of bed 3 times...