Tuesday's blog left me eagerly awaiting the arrival of the replacement base for my bed. Although the timespan for delivery ended at 8pm, by the 6 o'clock news my already waning excitement had almost drained away. By 9pm anger had replaced any remaining scrap of optimism. It was of course far too late to vent my ire on Customer Services again so I set to with a heavy and uncharitable heart to reassemble the bed so at least I had something to sleep on.
I had a doctor's appointment this morning, too early to telephone the firm. Normally my doctor is fairly timeous with his appointments but today, as usual, the barrel of fate served up yet another rotten apple. Appointments were running extremely late - 30 minutes in my case. One of the nurse practioners was sitting in and conducting examinations under the doctor's supervision. Now this was highly enlightening as I got a detailed explanation of all my various ailments but time was ticking by and my thoughts were of an empty house and a delivery van. My anxiety was not soothed by the mention of my age in almost every sentence. I came out of the surgery wondering whether I should have had a zimmer frame delivered along with the bed.
Back home, I noted with relief that 50% of a sprung base had not been dumped on my doorstep in the rain. Switching quickly into irate customer mode I telephoned the firm. A sweet but confused customer services lady first announced that the firm did not sell to members of the public. Now I know that I had not posed as a retail outlet or, given my increasing waistline, a wholesale one because I'd printed off the online order form and there was no mention of "Kojak Ltd." or "Kojak & Sons". I don't have a son, well, not to my knowledge...The lady did phone back later to say the errant bed would arrive that afternoon. And so it did and with it the answer to the mystery of the separate bed and mattress deliveries. Bases are delivered by two men. Mattresses are delivered by one very small one. Staggering under the weight of half a bed base was a diminutive man. I felt a pang of guilt as it was my insistence for an early replacement that had brought this about. The guilty pang did not prevent me pointing him in the direction of the stairs, however. The bed, divested of a double polythene wrapping is almost ready for assembly. Only one task remains. The Staple Gun Kid has once again been running amok...
You may rest assured, dear readers, that despite the doctor's concentration on my age I feel no necessity for a zimmer frame in the foreseeable future. I do, however, possess my late father's walking stick should the need arise.
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